Always Agree and Say Yes: Tina Fey’s Rules For Improv

My mother's music box: The Man in the Moon with cherubs

My mother’s music box: The Man in the Moon with cherubs

I’ve discovered that an improv class was great training for talking with my mother. Who better than Tina Fey to explain why:

The first rule of improvisation is AGREE. Always agree and SAY YES. When you’re improvising, this means you are required to agree with whatever your partner has created. So if we’re improvising and I say, “Freeze, I have a gun,” and you say, “That’s not a gun. It’s your finger. You’re pointing your finger at me,” our improvised scene has ground to a halt. But if I say, “Freeze, I have a gun!” and you say, “The gun I gave you for Christmas! You bastard!” then we have started a scene because we have AGREED that my finger is in fact a Christmas gun.

– excerpt from ‘Bossy Pants’

My mother, an intelligent and sophisticated woman, has Lewy Body Disease. Among other things, that means her cognitive abilities fluctuate. Last week she was clear as a bell; Tuesday night, when we had dinner, not so much.

That does not mean a conversation is impossible, just that it helps to stay agile and respond thoughtfully when she asks what Bart will do in the afterlife (her word). Bart is my cat. According to my mother, he often stops by her nursing home for a visit.

Agility is an important skill to practice for other reasons, too. Ever have an unsatisfactory conversation with a customer service rep?  Which company was more likely to keep your business: the one with the customer service rep who has the knee jerk reaction  ‘That’s not a problem” or the one with the rep who says “Yes. That is a problem” and begins to explore alternative ways to handle the situation? Companies create raving fans when they ‘agree and say yes’ when a customer reports a problem. These companies see the complaint as a gift that allows them to create an even better product or service.

And my mother’s gift is that she still is teaching me lessons that help me live my life (and run my company) with more grace.

 

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Comments

  1. What a heart warming blog post. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Sometimes we need call on our inner strength to be extra caring and patient with another person. For years before my grandmother past away she had problems with memory due a series of strokes and medicine she was on. She could ask you a questions and 10 minutes later need to ask it again. Rather than being upset, I would answer again as if it were the first time she asked.

  3. I really enjoyed this and how you tied your thoughts to improv. Well done?

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